The Near and Far enemies of Fierce Compassion

Hi all,

Neil and I have just been discussing Chris Germer's updated essay on The Near and Far Enemies of Fierce Compassion (https://centerformsc.org/the-near-enemies-of-fierce-compassion/) written on the 3rd Sept 2020. As you'll see he makes a helpful reference to the martial arts which, of course, particularly caught our eye. 

Chris notes that the piece was originally written in 2018 with several other contributors but has recently been updated given the turmoil in the U.S. He draws upon ideas around Yin and Yang elements of compassion, which of course fit well with some of motivational processes we discuss as at the heart of FCMA.

While Yin compassion tends to refer to being with another, comforting and validating, Yang compassion centres on protecting others, providing for those in need and motivating one another to act in a way to reduce suffering, even if it’s difficult.

As Chris states "Sometimes yang compassion needs to be fierce, as Kristin Neff points out in her essay on the topic in the context of self-compassion. The expression “fierce compassion” includes the qualities of strength, courage and empowerment to confront social injustice and change it. Fierce compassion also often contains an element of anger. A good metaphor for fierce compassion is the behaviour of a mamma bear when her cub is threatened. The anger aspect can be confusing to people who typically associate compassion with warmth and nurturing. However, learning to harness anger is an important part of fierce compassion. When we suppress our anger, we are likely to lose our capacity to speak truth to power or to take positive action. Conversely, letting our anger run amok can cause irreparable harm to oneself and others."

To consider this more fully Chris explores some 'near and far' enemies of fierce compassion. Simply put, near enemies are considered states that appear similar to the desired quality but actually undermine it, while far enemies are the polar opposite of what we're trying to achieve.

He cites x3 Far Enemies of Fierce Compassion as:-

1. Emotional Reactivity (versus Mindfulness). This is when we're easily taken over by emotional states such as fear, anger and sadness. Simply reacting due to strong emotions can be natural but sometimes unhelpful.

2. Demonizing (versus Common Humanity). This is based on the process of 'othering' and which serves to distance us from our sense that we all suffer, wish to be happy and are connected. Demonizing takes us far from such insights and into actions that might cause rather than halt suffering.

3. Hostility (versus Kindness). Fierce compassion asks us to be courageous, resist any causes of suffering we might be aware of and create safe boundaries without developing a hostile attitude. Chris notes that "to discern whether our anger will be put to compassionate use, we can ask whether we are angry at injustice or feel hostile toward a person. Compassionate action always spares the person and focuses on the problem. A helpful metaphor is a martial artist. A martial artist has equanimity on the inside and is a warrior on the outside."

This, of course, is a central theme within FCMA and it's unsurprising to us just how often martial arts metaphors are invoked when discussing compassionate courage and action.

Near Enemies of Fierce Compassion, in contrasts, can look similar to fierce compassion but may actually undermine it. Chris cites x3 Near Enemies as:-

1. Complacency (versus Mindfulness). While balanced awareness can be important, fierce compassion asks us to remain mindful without complacency so that we can take appropriate action to reduce suffering.

2. Sameness (versus Common Humanity). While in a sense we are all 'one', an overstated position of sameness could risk overlooking differences and the experiences of others. As Chris rightly says "Fierce compassion includes the courage to have difficult conversations about our differences based on race, ethnicity, ability, gender, sexual orientation and a multitude of other identities."

3. Pity (versus Kindness). This is such an important issue in FCMA, as equality based on a compassionate understanding of common humanity and our universal need for kindness is quite different from the down-ranking/lessening that can come from pity. In FCMA while we recognises all styles and grades of those we train with, we're conscious that our need to help others as we have been helped, from a position of respect and equivalence and is tempered by kindness.

Chris poses the following questions to ask ourselves when we experience an injustice, personal or social, to determine our state at that time:

Far Enemies:-

“Am I controlled by my anger?” (emotional reactivity)

“Do I feel morally superior?” (demonizing)

“Do I want my adversary to suffer?” (hostility)

Near Enemies:-

“Am I willing to take necessary action?” (non-complacent)

“Am I curious about the experience of others?” (non-sameness)

“Am I willing to feel the pain of others as my own?” (non-pity)

He suggests that if we responded “no” to the first three questions, and “yes” to the next three questions, you we're probably in a state of fierce compassion.

In FCMA asking ourselves such questions is a regular feature of our training.

Train well and safely,

Syd and Neil

Love fighting hate violence!

Hi there,

Neil and I have recently been in touch with Alex Channon, pictured below, (School of Sport and Service Management, University of Brighton) regarding his 2018 chapter with Christopher Matthews entitled Love Fighting Hate Violence: An Anti-Violence Program for Martial Arts and Combat Sports (in the book Transforming Sport: Knowledges, Practices, Structures, edited by Thomas F. Carter, Daniel Burdsey and Mark Doidge, Routledge).

Alex has kindly agreed to send us some further information on the toolkit that features as part of the chapter.

The Love Fighting Hate Violence (LFHV) project is an anti-violence initiative aimed at inspiring reflection and generating pedagogical interventions within martial arts and combat sports. It's goal is to harness the potential of these activities for educating people about violence, specifically with respect to understanding the principles of consent and violation. This chimes very well with FCMA.

The chapter provides a theoretical overview of the project’s core philosophy by way of an interactionist reading of fights as social encounters. It then turns to discussing some of the practical materials already developed for use within LFHV. These draw on the aforementioned theory, as well as a values-based

teaching methodology, to frame the potential contribution that this project can make to anti-violence education.

It's likely that some of the ideas in the toolkit match up well with elements of our FCMA workshops so it'll be great to explore any similarities and differences, especially as we move into 2021 and hopefully further away from the pandemic and all its suffering and related restrictions.

Have a lovely peaceful and healthy end to 2020, fierce best wishes one and all,

Syd

Welcome Bob!

Hi there,

Here at FCMA HQ (East) we've just had a new member of the team join us. BOB (aka as a body opponent bag) is a durable training partner, designed to allow full impact halting drills with resistance.

He's a joy to work with and has yet to complain about what time of day or night we train, how long we train for or indeed the cold weather at the moment.

Short on conversation but long on good old fashioned repetitive training I'm hoping we'll have many years of training together. I love him!

On a more serious note, training aids take so many shapes and forms and anything that takes us nearer to the conditions and circumstances under which we may need to take a radically embodied compassionate response to anger or conflict are to be welcomed.

Have a think about your own favourite way of training, training aids (pads, drills, forms, kit) and see if you can focus on increasing your felt sense of distress tolerance as you hone your skills and strive to be fully halting, not harmful or hurtful.

Train smart, train safe.

Syd

Fierce, blocks and resistances!

Hi there,

I've just read this very useful chapter on Compassion Fears, Blocks and Resistances: An Evolutionary Investigation by Paul Gilbert and Jennifer Mascaro in The Oxford Handbook of Compassion Science (2017).

It says "Fears, Blocks and Resistances (FBRs) of compassion are many—for example, basic disliking; fear of being seen as behaving inappropriately in helping in public spaces, known as the “bystander effect” (Fischer, Krueger, Greitemeyer, et al., 2011); fears that compassion is a weakness or self-indulgence; expectations that one’s compassionate efforts will be incompetent, unhelpful, rejected, or shamed; fears of becoming too upset (personal distress) or swamped by the needs of the others (Vitaliano et al., 2003); fear that one’s compassion will be seen as manipulative or self-interested.

Blocks are not necessarily based on fears but can be linked to environmental contingencies. For example, hospitals that are overwhelmed with bureaucracies and staff shortages may significantly block staff’s capacity to function as compassionately as they would like (Brown et al., 2014). In the Buddhist traditions, ignorance and lack of insight into the temporary and illusory nature of the self are key blocks to compassion (Leighton, 2003).

Resistances arise when people could be, but simply don’t want to be, compassionate—they want to resist compassion. For example, they may be more focused on competitive self-advantage, wanting to hold onto their resources rather than share them, as can be common for some people in power (Keltner, 2016). Certain personalities (Furnham, Richards, & Paulhus, 2013; Ho, Sidanius, Kteily, et al., 2015) vengefulness, from personal arguments or tribal conflicts can inhibit compassion (Goetz et al., 2010). Sometimes resistance can be rooted in deep fears (of “the other,” for example).The use of psychological defenses such as dissociation, repression, and denial (Dalenberg, & Paulson, 2009) can also affect our compassion for others, the openness to the compassion from others and self compassion."

Powerful stuff indeed and so directly relevant to how we attend to and engage with suffering. It unsurprisingly got me thinking a lot more about FBRs to fierce compassion in particular. Do have a think about how these might apply to you as you connect with your own fierceness, it's a topic Neil and I deal with on Day 2 of our Training Workshop and can be very useful to explore.

Compassionate best wishes,

Syd

Breath-Body-Mind training with Drs Brown & Gerbarg

Hey there,

I’ve just finished a great 2 day workshop with Drs Richard Brown and Patricia Gerbarg from the States. I don’t know where to start other than to say it was just excellent!

I’ve been wanting to deepen my understanding of the breath work we already use in FCMA and so was really pleased to hear Richard say he has a long history in Aikido, on top of his years practising Qigong.

There was a lot to cover over the two days. We explored and practised the Ha Breath, 4-4 Breath, 4-4-6-2 Breath, Coherent Breathing, Relaxation Body Scanning, Tapping, Ha Breath 2 ways, Qigong 4th Golden Wheel Sky and Earth, Breath Moving and Body Scanning with Open Focus.

In addition, there was as a lecture on the neurophysiological effects of Breathing Practices on our stress response systems, with a focus on sympatho-vagal balance, heart rate variability, emotion regulation and intereoceptive social engagement. There was also lots of discussion on trauma symptoms, PTSD and of course our responses to the Coronavirus Crisis.

Some of the practices, such as alternate nostril breathing, were novel (and difficult for me) but there were also some fantastic new (to me) ways to work with the breath such as the Great Harmonizer, which I'm looking forward to honing over the next few months (and beyond).

Overall then, a great weekend of specific training that will be directly useful to us here at FCMA central, as we focus more and more on the embodiment of safety and safeness and draw on ideas from multiple sources.

I'd thoroughly recommend this training, if you get a chance to see Dr Brown and Gerbarg in action.

Breath slowly and safely,

Syd

Budotherapy

Hey there,

Gabo Weis’ book Budotherapy: The Healing Elements of the Martial Arts is now out on Amazon. We’re really pleased to see this in print and have been excited for some time about this.

We spent some time trying to describe how much we respect Gabo’s dedication to his art (Karate) , his knowledge as a therapist and his inspiration in bringing together the two. Lost for the right words, we’ve instead decided to leave it to the man himself and so what follows is a quote (p3&4) from Gabo’s book (italics below).

Budo, the way of the warrior, is a concept that refers to the infinite Way walked by one who seeks to become a martial artist in the Japanese tradition. In his introduction to the Hagakure book, William Scott Wilson explains the meaning of the term Bu. in Chinese characters, Bu composed from the "two radicals for 'stop' and 'spear'. Bu consists of subduing the weapon, and therefore stopping the spear, it prohibits violence, puts the people at peace, and harmonizes the masses". The second part of Budo, the character Do, means Way, and "indicate a movement governed by intelligence."

Budotherapy is a therapeutic approach that focuses on the observation and analysis of the experience of the therapist, the client, and the session itself, from the viewpoint of traditional Japanese martial arts - or what might be called "The Budo." The book highlights the launching points between the experience of the martial artist and the experience of one who practises the art of psychotherapy - two experiences that deal with improving mental and emotional abilities: The ability to see the other, to read what occurs in the environment, and to connect with the body, breathing, and soul. Ultimately, these are the arts that deal with the human ability to develop, and to prevent violence and remove harm from others and the environment. Both arts also engage in developing inner peace and self-worth, and help us grow and overcome feebleness, fears, and anxieties. Through my walking this binary way as a therapist, and as a student and teacher of traditional karate, I will demonstrate my understanding and experience of these two arts uniting.

Throughout the book, one can notice the dynamic between the personal and interpersonal experience of the therapist coming from that double pathway - The Budo, the wisdom of Japanese Zen, transmitted to us through our teachers over centuries, and practical exercises, tools, and applications of Budotherapy in the therapeutic experience. In the world of therapy, this book belongs to "the third wave" of psychotherapy, especially Gilbert's CFT, and develops a dialogue with the conceptual world of mindfulness, compassion, and dharma wisdom. This dialogue also takes place in the world of psychoanalysis, especially in the thinking of Wilfred Bion and John Bowlby, as well as in the research and knowledge related to the structure and function of the brain, nervous system, body, and movement. These connections will become more concrete in the second part of the book. In the first part, I shall focus on observing the therapist's inner experience as he confronts the challenges, difficulties, and opportunities that arise during the healing encounter with his clients.

It’s obvious that Gabo’s work and FCMA fit brilliantly together and we’re very much looking forward to seeing him again and sharing martial and therapeutic ideas soon.

Get this book and enhance your peaceful courage!

Syd and Neil

Zooming in

Hi there,

Given the current COVID-19 pandemic and the physical restrictions of Lockdown, Neil and I have taken to remote training to compliment our daily conversations around all things FCMA.

Via Zoom we met today and were able to get a really productive session in.

We focused on warm-up and stretches, before moving onto basic Wing Chun stances and single-arm positions and then chain punching cycles. We then switched to traditional Tae Kwon Do, focusing on the ready position, deeper stances, and block and counter combinations.

This set the stage for our recently developed work on FCMA's form 1 (Eye of the Storm). This is designed to practice stepping into suffering, safely, and focuses on angling, centre space, and both staying with or retracting (maai) as the situation allows.

Form 2 has also been finalised and draws on stepping away, while remaining connected, counter-grabs, kick blocks, rolling under and head control/submissions. Short, effective and reality-based.

As such, there's plenty to train and focus on and if anything we'll need to step up our Zoom sessions to fit it all in.

Even though we're all going through a tough time coping with COVID-19 and it's ongoing impact, we can still bring our intention to train safely and with an eye to the needs of both ourselves and our training partners.

Stay safe, well and connected.

Syd

More on Compassionate Maai.....

Hi there,

Here at Fierce HQ Neil and I have been working hard on our latest article submissions. Following on from Neil's post below on compassionate maai we've been developing this idea further.

For instance maai has three levels, each dependent on a specific phase of martial relating (Habersetzer, 1975): to-ma when the other is practically out of reach; uchi-ma when two practitioners are at the boundaries of their respective room to manoeuvre; and chika-ma when they are close to each other, at arms reach, and do not need to step forward to touch. Within competitive combat styles such as Karate there can be a pre-exchange period when opponents are attempting to seize the distancing capacity of the other, looking for moments to create openings and explore his or her balance and skill (Masciotra, et al., 2001). It is this interplay of safely manoeuvring that we would wish to encourage as part of compassionate maai in FCMA.

Similarly Okumura, et al. (2012) in exploring critical interpersonal distance switches in Kendo matches note that the most preferred distance enables players to execute both striking and defensive movements immediately. In combat sports and martial arts more generally then, the task of maai might be to afford what are termed ‘anti-phase’ synchronizations at near distances to maintain safe distances from opponents. However, in the pro-social/compassionate version of maai we're proposing in light of the pandemic our goal is to maintain ‘pro-phase’ synchronizations which seek to enhance the timing and rhythm between two or more people.

Interestingly, entraining such skill is often seen as Masters and higher graded martial arts demonstrate and enact ‘positive’ maai skills to and with lower graded practitioners/students as part of their development. We often liken this to the notion that to skilfully ‘break’ rhythm one must first understand and master it (Lee, 1975).

Rather than emulate the abrupt phase-transition phenomenon noted in skilful practitioners in competitive arenas and situations of threat, we are instead seeking to foster smooth phase-transitions to afford a sense of ongoing relatedness and reaffiliation with others during this time of crisis to convey overall social safeness (Gilbert, et al., 2007).

While the behavioural dynamics underlying the process of martial arts movement and perception are likely linked by visual information, and visual feedback is commonly employed in successful interpersonal competitive tasks (Okumura, et al. 2012), developing compassionate maai will also require attention to and a focus upon specific and well understood forms of social signalling. For example, Porges’ (2003) work on social engagement and attachment shows that the muscles of the face and head influence one’s expression and reception of social cues, which in turn affect the experience of social distance. In terms of behaviour this is seen in facial expressions, vocalisations, head orientation, eye gaze and listening. Eye contact, socially contingent (responsive) facial expressions, appropriate vocal prosody and actively listenting harder all therefore go a considerable way to affecting our experience of the psychological distance between us. Retaining our awareness of this and bringing our intention to remaining attuned in this way are skills we can model and practice as we develop our compassionate maai.

We hope the above helps get us closer to the concept of maai from an FCMA point of view. We think it's important and relevant as it can affect our sense of safe relating during these difficult times, centrally by attending to our intention to continue to connect to others in circumstances of heightened threat.

Best wishes and stay safe,

Syd and Neil

Compassionate Maai: maintaining physical distance

Greetings all,

In light of the current global societal conditions, we wanted to take a moment to consider how FCMA can help us maintain physical distance but remain socially connected in the face of COVID-19.

The COVID-19 pandemic has seen the unprecedented global step of widespread social distancing measures to stem the spread of Coronavirus, or what has been referred to as 'flattening the curve'. Whilst absolutely necessary to prevent further spread of the virus and the physical suffering it causes, the socio-emotional challenges and consequences this poses to us as an interdependent social species are great. 

Some of the dilemmas we are faced with are: how do we compassionately balance protecting and caring for ourselves and others from increased physical distance? What on earth can the Martial Arts teach us and afford us to these ends?

The concept of Maai from the Martial Arts is particularly pertinent and useful to us all right now. Maai refers to the space between oneself and (an)other, or what can be described as the 'engagement distance'. Breaking this down further, ma refers to the spatiotemporal distance between two (or more) persons, whilst ai refers to the harmony in the encounter between persons (Masciotra et al., 2001). In the martial arts, maai is "...allowing [them] to judge the overall timing and distance necessary for each to carry out his or her intentions’’ (Frederic, 1991, p. 151).

Whilst in combat this may refer to how one manages to be simultaneously (defensively) farthest away whilst (offensively) closest, this equally applies to the following dilemma posed by COVID-19: How do we keep a safe and appropriate physical distance whilst staying (affiliatively) socially engaged, connected and available?

From an FCMA perspective, Compassionate Maai is the harnessing of our radically embodied compassion to adopt a stance that honours and respects the decreed physical distance between each other at present, whilst remaining affiliatively socially engaged. In short, Compassionate Maai dynamically affords us and others physical protection AND socio-emotional protection.

If we can practice this and bring it to everyday encounters, we can enact compassion (and compassionate flow) by protecting ourselves and others through flexible physical distancing balanced with signalling and offering care to each other. We can practice and achieve this through drawing on and adapting FCMA stance and guard work, which allows us to flexibly shift between and blend self-protective and other-focused caring motivations. 

So our message from FCMA is an invitation to practice Compassionate Maai: stay physically safe through appropriate distancing whilst remaining emotionally engaged and close. 

We will explore the ‘how to do' of Compassionate Maai in a future blog post. In the meantime, take care and stay safe,

Neil and Syd

A BIG thank you...

Hi All,

Just to say a big thank you to everyone who attended and participated in our inaugural FCMA workshop ‘Radically Embodied Compassion’ in Derby last Friday. We had an absolute blast, we sincerely hope you enjoyed and found it useful too.

The day was action-packed, moving from the theory and empirical research underpinning the FCMA approach to cultivating and radically embodying compassion via static and dynamic stance work, guards/blocks and partner drills. For us, it was a joy to see people courageously (and playfully!) participating in the exercises and experience radically embodied compassion for themselves, including simulating how this might feel and transfer to therapeutic encounters.

Much gratitude to the Compassionate Mind Foundation (especially Hannah Gilbert) for agreeing to host the workshop and begin to spread the FCMA ‘Way’.

Watch this space for future workshops!

Warmest Wishes,

Neil and Syd